Fenger High School

  An Unconventional Guide to Chicago

 

I LOVE CHICAGO! I love its vibrancy, its challenges, and its diversity! It has world-class museums, theater, food, architecture, parks, and more.

Chicago’s been my home for most of my life, but I have to admit that its history has never interested me much. I also have to admit that I bristle when lectured by a person who thinks they are an expert on MY city. Many of you may find yourselves in a similar situation so I’ve prepared a solution for all of us. On this page, A Guide to Chicago, on a somewhat irregular schedule and with a little help from a friend, I plan to equip all of you with an array of esoteric nuggets of information so if you are in the company of a know-it-all "Chicagoite," you will not have to feel one-down. Instead, you will be able to dazzle your friend with little gems of Chicago trivia which you seemingly extract from your derrière.

The format will be simple. For every famous place your boastful friend might show you, I will come up with some not-so-famous site nearby. I will show you how to keep up with, or even one-up, someone who thinks they really know our city. I will use a mythical Chicago friend as a foil, a person who is trying to "show you the town."

 

INDEX
#GermanChicago	#PulaskiVsCrawford	#HaymarketRiot
#ItalianBeefSandwiches	#SamMomoGiancana	#SightsNearUofChicago
#UkrainianVillage	#OldCapsRevenge	#ChicagoCourtHouse
#ChicagoPizza	#CowPathEasement	#BugHouseSquare
#PrairieAvenue	#AlfredJakeLingle	#Uptown
#AlongTheChicagoRiver	#TokyoRose	#Balbo
#BillyGoats	#GracelandCemetery	#IroquoisTheater
#GreatChicagoFlood	#TheChicagoFire	#CemeteryAtTheZoo
#ArtInstituteOriginals	#MurdersOffTheSkyway	#BiographTheater
#ValentinesDayMassacre		#TheEastland

 

German Chicago

"It’s too bad you were not in town a couple of months ago. I would have taken you to the famous Berghoff Restaurant. It closed, you know."
 

 

"That’s OK. I like German beer, but not German food."

"I always thought it strange that Chicago had a famous German Restaurant. There have never been very many Germans here."   

"I am surprised to hear you say that. Until around 1910, Germans were the largest immigrant group in Chicago.  Did you ever wonder why a number of streets in Chicago have German names? You must be familiar with Diversey, Wacker, Schiller and Goethe."

"I have heard of all of them, but that last one you mentioned, ‘Gerta’?"

"You mean Goethe? You may know it by the typical Chicago pronunciation: ‘Gothie.’ There are statues of both Schiller and Goethe in Lincoln Park.

 

 

"Germans started coming into Chicago in large numbers following the unsuccessful revolutions in Germany in 1848. Not surprisingly, they brought  their taste for beer with them. A 'reform' ordinance literally caused a riot, the 'Lager Riot.' Dozens of bar owners were arrested, and hundreds of Germans stormed City Hall. There were a number of injuries and one death. Finally, the state militia was called out. Finally, the state militia was called out.
 

"The next mayor decided that beer on Sunday was not such a bad idea. Over the years, there were scores of breweries in the City, including: Edelweiss, Schoenhofen, Fox Deluxe, Keeley, Peter Hand, Canadian Ace, and Meister Brau.
 

"Well into the 20th century, there were a number of German language newspapers, including the Illinois Staats-Zeitung, the Chicagoer Arbeiter-Zeitung, and the Chicago Freie Presse. There were dozens of parochial schools which taught the German language. Until recent years, St. Paul’s conducted services in German.

"A later wave of German immigrants included radical anarchists and left wing union leaders. Do you remember my comments about the Haymarket Riot a few days ago? The rioters there were almost all German immigrants.

"At one time, the German community was located on and near North Avenue. The Yondorf Block Building was a huge gathering place on North Avenue, and a number of breweries were located nearby. In fact, the Peter Hand Brewery, the last one in Chicago, was located on North Avenue until it closed in 1967."

Yondorf Block Building		Peter Hand Brewery

"OK, OK, maybe there were some Germans here a long time ago, but what happened to them?"
So what happened? Did a lot of Germans go home?"

"For one thing, the First World War started. Of course, they didn't call it the First World War at the time."

"So what happened? Did a lot of Germans go home?"

"No, they began to be ‘assimilated.’ The Bismarck Hotel, named after Germany’s first chancellor, changed its name to the Randolph Hotel. The Germania Club changed its name to the Lincoln Club. Most schools stopped teaching German.
 

"The German community began to work its way north on Lincoln Avenue, and a number of Germans moved to the suburbs. Did you ever wonder why there is a New TrierTownship, a Bremen Township, a Bloom Township, and towns named Hanover Park, Schiller Park, Frankfurt, Bensenville, Schaumburg, and Hoffman’s Estates? Ironically, the descendants of radical union leaders now tend to vote for Republicans.

"However, there are still vestiges of the old German community in the Northwest section of the City, both on Lincoln Avenue and near it. Bakeries have done well, but restaurants have not done as well. In addition to the Berghoff, Zum Deutschen Eck, the Golden Ox, and Salzburger Hof have closed in recent years. At least Brau Haus is still around. Lutz’s Pastry shop, actually more Austrian than German, is almost identical to ones in Germany and Austria.

 

"One German who should have stayed in Germany was Mies van der Rohe. For reasons that have never made sense to me, he became a world famous architect and designed many of the box-like buildings known as Baus Haus. His motto was ‘Less is more.’ Less of him would have meant more to me."
 

 

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Italian Beef Sandwiches

"Today, you hear the following from your host: "You cannot get good Italian beef sandwiches outside of Chicago. They were invented here.
 

 
 

You cannot allow that to pass by without a brief quarrel so you say, " I agree that Chicago is the Italian beef capital, but you can get good Italian beef in Streator (This author's hometown). In fact, the old Trapp’s Tavern served great Italian beef. I have never been able to figure out why Streator, with a relatively small Italian population, has always had good Italian beef."

"Anyway, let's not argue. I will take you to a really great place for Italian beef, Mr. Beef's."

"Oh, you mean that touristy place in River North?"

Where else would you suggest?"
 

"That’s easy: Al’s on Taylor Street. That place practically invented Italian beef. The clientèle is interesting. Laborers, lawyers, and business people, all hang out there."

"Is that in Little Italy?"
 

"Little Italy is a good name for Taylor Street. Before Circle Campus displaced tens of thousands of Italians, the Italian neighborhood was not so little. Until the land-grab by the University of Illinois, the area between Taylor and Grand was home to nearly a hundred thousand Italians. Most of them moved directly west to those nearwest suburbs with the word 'park' in them: Elwood Park, Stone Park, Schiller Park, Franklin Park, etc. Fortunately, Al's has survived in the old neighborhood."

"Al’s, I don’t think I have ever been there before."

"Well, we can fill in that gap in your culinary experiences today. You know the origin of Chicago-style Italian beef, of course?"

"Well, it has been around a long time . . . ."

"Any place in Chicago serving decent Italian beef buys their beef from Scala’s Packing Company, a now fabled purveyor of meat. Pasquale Scala, an Italian immigrant, started the business just after WW I. By immigrant, I mean someone who came through the legal process followed in those days: Ellis Island, et. al.

 

Right: Pat Scala, 1925  Left: His sandwich & au jus

"According to Pat Scala, the current head of the company, Chicago-style Italian beef grew out of the Depression. Then, as now, Italians liked to serve roast beef at wedding receptions. For obvious reasons, it was difficult during the Depression for a family to be able to buy a large portion of beef. Scala’s creative solution was to slice the beef very thin and juice it up with Italian seasonings. The result was a ‘French Dip’ with attitude.

"After we wolf down our sandwiches, we can walk across the street to Mario’s for some Italian Ices."
  

 
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 Ukrainian Village
Your friend decides that it might be fun to go to the Goose Island Brewery "on Goose Island." He tells you that it is supposed to be a great microbrewery but admits that he has not been there before, "How hard can it be to find; it’s probably a small island."
Your friend decides that it might be fun to go to the Goose Island Brewery "on Goose Island." He tells you that it is supposed to be a great microbrewery but admits that he has not been there before. "How hard can it be to find; it's probably a small island."
 

Although you know that the Goose Island Brewery is not on Goose Island but just to the east of it, you do not say anything. After all, the place is simply yet another microbrewery and an over-priced one at that. Instead, as you are driving north on Clark, you say, "It is kind of a stretch to call Goose Island an island. Technically, I guess it is an island, but one created in the 19th century by digging a channel to avoid a curve in the river."

Your host turns left on Division and into the "island," looking for the Brewery. After meandering around the handful of streets on the island, all that he can see are factories and light industry, but no breweries.

 

When your host appears to be sufficiently frustrated, you say, "Look, we are very close to the Ukrainian Village; it is just west of Goose Island. Why don’t we pop over there? Simply follow Division across the island."

Once you cross the island, tell your host to turn left and proceed to Chicago Avenue. At Chicago Avenue, ask him/her to turn right.

"This is an amazing enclave. At one time, there were about 15,000 Ukrainians living here; but most have left the area. You can still hear people talking is Ukrainian or Polish on the streets. Also, there are still a number of ethnic shops and restaurants catering to both Polish and Ukranian Americans.

 

 

"Pull over here at Ann’s Bakery. Let’s check out one of the City’s old ethnic bakeries and see some real old-fashioned bakery goods. If you are hungry, we can always go to Sak’s Ukrainian Village Restaurant (2301 W. Chicago Ave). They serve up steamy bowls of borsch along with other authentic dishes."

"Yuck, it sounds terrible."
 

"The real draw here is the churches. You almost expect to see Dr. Zhivago walking into one of them.
 

"The people attending these churches take their religion seriously. One congregation split because some members wanted to use the Justinian calendar. They ended up building their own church. 
 

 
"Sadly, the Ukraninian Village, like Greek Town, is only a skeleton of what it once was. However, the Cultural Center is well worth the trip. It is like stepping into the past. Maybe you will work up an appetite for some good Central European food."

"I doubt it. I still would like to find the Goose Island Brewery." 
 

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Chicago Pizza

Your host announces, "How would you like some real Chicago Pizza?"

You reply, "Northside or Southside pizza?"

"Do you mean are we going to the Northside or the Southside?"

"No, I mean are we going to eat the pizza which is popular in the Loop and the Northside or the pizza which is popular on the Southside."

"I am not sure what you had in mind; I was referring to Chicago style, deep-dish pizza."

"Oh, you mean that pizza which was invented by a guy from Texas with a Jewish sounding name?"

"What are you talking about?"

 

"Ike Sewell, a former All-American football player, is credited by most people as having invented deep dish pizza when he opened Pizzeria Uno in 1943. He had eaten Italian pizza in Italy, but felt it was too much like a snack for Chicago appetites. He is gone, but there are  'Uno's' all over the country now. Some are good, and others are bad.

"One of the guys who worked for him, Lou Malnati, would later open up his own place in Lincolnwood and would later open up a number of pizzerias in other locations. Today there are close to 2,000 pizza places in Chicago. There are so many really good places to get deep dish pizza in Chicago that it is hard to list them. Pizzeria Uno is still around, and there are others: Giordano’s, Gino’s East, Piece, Chicago Pizza & Oven Grinder, Nancy’s, etc."
 

"What were you talking about with that Northside/Southside pizza business?"

"On the Southside and in the suburbs, thin-crust pizzas are far more popular than deep dish pizzas. In fact, several Giordano’s have flopped in the south suburbs. As great as Lou Malnati’s pizzas may seem to many people, when he opened a place in Flossmoor, it closed within a year. What chutzpah, opening a pizzeria a couple of miles from Aurelio’s.

"The largest, and best, thin-crust pizza joint in the country is Aurelio’s in Homewood. It seats 650 people, and there are often lines. Although Joe died a number of years ago, there are Aurelio franchises in thirty-nine different locations.
 

"Another good thin crust pizza is sold at the Home Run Inn and its franchises. They have even come up with a good frozen pizza.

"Whether you eat deep dish or thin crust pizzas in Chicago, there are certain constants. Sausage rather than pepperoni is used; and the tomato sauces are not the cheap, watery slop you get at the major chains.

 

"Let’s go to one of the Gino’s East’s places. I like their cornmeal crusts. A number of years ago, People Magazine did one of those phony national studies, ‘where to get the best . . . '

"You know the type I mean. The studies always manage to select the winners from a cross section of cities throughout the country, and People Magazine followed the usual formula. Gino’s East was rated first, and the remainder of the list consisted of places in other big cities.

 

"To the magazine’s credit, they attached a footnote that said something like this: ‘If we were being honest, we would have said that the top ten pizza places in the country are located within several miles of Gino’s East’s place."

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 Prairie Avenue
Your host points to a bas relief monument on the Michigan Street Bridge and says, "There was an Indian massacre somewhere around here."
 

You reply, "Let’s drive south along Michigan Avenue to 18th Street and go left to Prairie Avenue where the massacre actually occurred.

"During the War of 1812, General Hull at Detroit sent word to Ft. Dearborn that he would no longer be able to supply the fort. He ordered the troops and families in the fort to proceed to Ft. Wayne. By the way, Ft. Wayne was actually a fort in theose days.

"After pouring the fort’s whiskey and gun powder supply into the river, the inhabitants of the fort proceeded south along the sand dunes near the lake. Although they were supposed to be escorted by some Miami Indians, their escort disappeared when a large group of Potawatomi Indians appeared. Right here, at 18th and Prairie, the Potawatomi attacked and killed most of the people from the fort.

"A monument was eventually erected, but was later removed. Most likely, the rich and famous  people who had built mansions along Prairie Avenue in the late 19th Century were offended by the daily reminder of the area’s gruesome past.
 

 

"Prairie Avenue became a show case for the mansions of the rich and famous people of the late 19th Century. The Armour, Field, Kimball, and Pullman families all had homes here. In recent years, the area has been restored. Let's park and take a walk.

"This first house was designed for John J. Glessner, an executive with the International Harvester Company. The massacre occurred just in front of where the house would be built.
 

"This next house, the Clarke House, was built in 1836 and is thought to be the oldest house in Chicago. Henry Clarke was the original owner of this Greek revival style house. It was moved from its original location at 16th and Michigan to 45th and Wabash sometime around 1872. In 1977 it was moved to it’s current location at 1827 S. Indiana, one block west of Prairie Avenue which is close to it’s original location.
 

"Marshall Field put up this one.
 

"And here is Kimball’s manse.
 

"There are some modern additions to the area. Several blocks to the west, there are hundreds of modern Prairie Avenue style homes. The area just south of the Loop has become a trendy area for the young and rich.
 

 

 
"Finally, I should note that my wife lived on Prairie Avenue."

"Your wife lived here? Her family must have been rich."

"I didn’t say ‘here.’ I said she lived on Prairie Avenue. She actually lived about twelve miles south of here, in Roseland." (Obviously you can only use this line if your wife, like mine, also lived on Prairie Avenue.) 

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 Along The Chicago River

At some juncture, your host will probably point to the Chicago river and say, "Did you know that 'they' dye it green on St. Patrick's Day?"

You reply, "The ‘they’ you are referring to is the Pipefitters’ Union. They use around forty pounds of fluorescein dye.
 

"That poor river. It has been straightened, deepened, and rerouted. Parts of it have even been eliminated. Why, the City even reversed its flow.

"When the settlers first arrived here, they found that the river had two main branches, a northand a south branch. The north branch starts somewhere in Lake County. Because of its proximity to the Des Plaines River, the six mile long south branch attracted the most attention. It was only a short portage across Muddy Lake to the Des Plaines. 
 

"It was clear to everyone that the City needed a harbor. It was even more clear to shippers who were forced to anchor out in the lake and bring their provisions to Ft. Dearborn by tender. Storms on Lake Michigan often appeared without warning, and sitting at anchor during those storms was not pleasant. Accordingly, the mouth of the river was straightened and a harbor was built. 

 

"Within a few years, the river became clogged with boats either unloading or loading. To its credit, the City did recognize the evils of pollution and enacted an ordinance in 1833 providing that the river was not to beused as a dumping ground for ‘dung, carrion, putrid meat, decayed vegetables, or any other offensive substance.’ Like many other ordinances in Chicago, this one was cheerfully ignored by most people. In no time, the river became a cess pool."

"Because the river was normally placid, whatever was dumped into it tended to stay put. Even before bacteria were found to cause disease, it was clear that flooding often resulted in outbreaks of Cholera. However, it was not until dead bodies from the old cemetary located at today's Lincoln Park began popping up in the river that a solution was sought. In 1900, in an engineering feat impressive for the day, the flow of the river was reversed; and the river spilled down to Lockport. The 'foes of progress' living near Lockport were outraged.

"in recent years, the City has attempted to clean up the river; but, it still has not reached the pristine quality of Streator's Vermilion River. It has often been used in movies shot in Chicago. In Code of Silence, Chuck Norris drove off one of its bridges. In an old Steve McQueen movie, The Hunter, a car was driven out of Marina Towers into the river.

"The architecture visible from the river is stunning.
 

 

"Of course, the most impressive building is on the South Branch just across the street from the Sear’s Tower."

Your friend says, "Would you like to go to the top of Sear’s Tower?"

"No, I would like to go to the top of the building across the street from it."

"What is so important about that building?"

"A guy from my hometown was one of the founding partners of a firm which occupies the top two floors of that building."
 

 

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Billy Goat's

"Hey, I’ll bet that you would like to go to Billy Goat’s, the bar made famous by John Belushi on Saturday Night Live. Remember ‘Cheezborger! Cheezborger!
No fries, cheeps! No Pepsi, Coke.'"

"You would lose your bet. Billy Goat’s has become as full of slack-jawed tourists as Navy Pier. I would rather go to the Old Town Ale House but not until about 1:00 AM.

"Billy Goat’s was made famous in Chicago by Mike Royko, not by Belushi. When Belushi and Murray were with Second City, they ‘discovered’ it; and Belushi developed his now famous skit. Before it was ‘discovered,’ it was a very comfortable place to grab a drink after work.
 

"Most Northsiders know the story of the goat and the ‘curse.’ Billy Sianas decided to take his pet goat Murphy to the World Series in 1944. He had two tickets, but he was told that he could not bring in his goat because of its odor. When he left he said, ‘Cubs they not gonna win anymore.’ After the Cubs lost the series, Billy sent a telegram to Mr. Wrigley saying, ‘Who smells now?'

"The Cubs haven’t been back to the World Series since.
 

"I’ve heard that today it has become just another cute place. Why even tour busses full of grey-haired, tennis shoe wearing grandmothers stop here. I have also heard that they now have ‘several locations.’ Royko would turn over in his grave if he could see the place(s) now. You can also even get fries.

"Billy Goat’s was always an early-evening hangout anyway. If you wanted to run into Royko, Condon, Ebert, or any number of the other well-known reporters of the day, the place to go was O’Rourkes on North Avenue just west of Wells or to the Old Town Ale House, a block to the west of O’Rourkes.

"O’Rourkes was closer in look to Omars or the Broadway Tap (two famous bars in Streator and home to the author of this series) than to Billy Goats. No yuppies or tourists there. The place stayed open until 2:00 AM, and guys like Royko would often close the place or go down the street to the Old Town Ale House which was open to 4:00 AM. O’Rourkes attempted to effect a Dublin atmosphere, complete with photos of Behan and Yeats. A coal stove and a polished mahogany bar completed the look.
 

"Ebert interviewed a number of big names there: John Wayne, Jane Russell, Charlton Heston, and Mel Brooks. Ebert often tells the story that when he was interviewing Heston, a woman in the bar exclaimed, ‘My God, it’s Moses.’

"O’Rourkes moved to Halsted Street at some point in the 90s, but it is now closed. In contrast to the place on North Avenue, the ‘second’ O’Rourkes on Halsted had a clean and neat front.

"Why don’t we pop over to the Old Time Ale House later tonight and see if the current crop of journalists have been carrying on the Royko tradition?" 

 

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Great Chicago Flood

Today, your host is driving around River North area, just behind the Merchandise Mart. You point to the building below and say, "Isn't that the East Bank Club?"
 

If your friend is a member, let him/her show off and take you inside. If you park in the garage below the club, you will see Rolls Royces, Bentleys, etc. If you go inside during the winter, you will see at least a million dollars in furs in the "cloak room." It is one of the most impressive health clubs in the world, and every celebrity visiting town is comped there.

However, your real goal is not the East Bank Club on the east bank of the river. (Get it? "East Bank Club.") You want to get to the west bank, a few hundred yards up river from the East Bank Club. Accordingly, you guide your host around the north end of the club and across the river. As soon as you cross the river, have your host turn left and drive until you see the bridge at Kinzie Avenue. It will be stuck in the "up position." You then ask your host to pull over and drag him or her to the river’s edge and point to the following patch of the river.

"So this is where it started."

"What started?"
 

 

 
"Why, the great flood of Chicago. You remember that don’t you? It was April 13, 1992 when buildings in the Loop began to find water in their basements. Within a couple of hours, the electrical systems in many of the Loop buildings were flooded. Someone figured out that water had somehow gotten into the sixty-some miles of tunnels under the city."

"Tunnels? Why would there be tunnels under the city?"

"They were originally built so that businesses could receive coal, supplies, etc. without getting caught in the horrific traffic jams of the early 20th century."

"Traffic jams in the early 20th century? I doubt that."

"You would be surprised.
 

 

 
"Over the years, the tunnels became outmoded, and most people forgot about them.

"Several months before the flood, workers involved in repairing the Kinzie Street bridge, which crosses the Chicago River, punched a hole through the bottom of the river and into one of the long-forgotten tunnels while installing a new pylon. Eventually, the leak in the tunnel began to expand. In April, when the flood occurred, no one could tell where the water was coming from.
 

"Some astute employee noticed some fish in one of the flooded basements and correctly concluded that the water was coming from the river. A few people remembered the tunnels, and someone spotted a ‘whirlpool’ near the Kinzie Street Bridge.

"Fearing that electrical wires would short out, City officials announced that the Loop had to be evacuated. One Loop based attorney was out of his office working in the suburbs that day. When a near giggling secretary called and told him not to come into the Loop after his meeting because the Loop was flooded, he thought that she was trying to run a belated April Fool's joke on him. However she was not kidding. Electrical power and natural gas went down or were shut off as a precaution in much of the area. Trading at both the Board of Trade and the Merc ended in mid-morning as water seeped into their basements. At its height, some buildings had forty feet of water in their lower levels.

"Workers attempted to plug the car-sized hole with sixty-five truckloads of rocks and cement as well as mattresses. The Army Corps of Engineers flew up mine divers from Kentucky to work on sealing the hole. In an attempt to slow the leak, the level of the Chicago River was lowered by closing the locks at Lake Michigan and opening them downstream of Chicago; and the freight tunnels were drained into the Chicago Deep Tunnel system. The big hero was the Kenny Construction Company who figured out how to stop the leak and how to drain the flooded basements.

"The total cost to the City was estimated at nearly three billion dollars, but that figure probably included all kinds of indirect costs: loss of business, etc. For example, the 10,000 lawyers in the Loop were not able to ‘bill hours’ for some period of time." 
 

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Art Institue Originals
Driving down Michigan Avenue, your host says, "Look, the famous lions in front of the Art Institute."

You reply, "Do you go there often?"

"Well, ah no."
 

"Pity, there is some great stuff there. My favorite is George Seurat's 'A Sunday Afternoon on the La Grande Jatte.' The Institute once published a book containing about fifteen different interpretations of that painting; such is the academic world.
 

"Renoir’s ‘The Rowers’ Lunch’ is also one of my favorites.
 

 
"Renoir’s famous ‘Two Sisters’ is another good one; and for those who like Van Gogh, his 1887 ‘Self Portrait’ is there.
 

"It is too bad that Hopper’s ‘Night Hawk’s,’ and Wood’s ‘American Gothic’ have been satirized so much in ads. The originals are much better. By the way, Wood went to school here.

 

"Sadly, Nelson’s ‘Mirth and Girth’ is no longer here. In fact, it wasn’t here very long."

"Nelson? ‘Mirth and Girth?’ Neither ring any bells for me."

"David Nelson had his fifteen minutes of fame in 1988. He was completing his degree when he saw posters for sale depicting the late Harold Washington and Jesus looking down on Chicago. The painting was entitled ‘Worry Ye Not.’ As part of his graduation requirement and as a response to the posters he had seen, he painted a picture of Washington wearing a bra and G-String. He entitled it ‘Mirth and Girth,’ the name of a well-known gay club. The painting was mounted on the walls of the Institute along with others done by students.

"Before the day was over, an angry crowd of Washington’s supporters began chanting in front of the lions and demanding that the painting be destroyed. Not to be outdone, two different contingents of Chicago Alderpeople stormed the Art Institute and ripped the painting off of the wall. One group tried to remove it from the Institute.

 

 

"When the Alderpeople threatened to use their connections to get the state legislature to cut funding to the Institute, the Institute decided that discretion was the better part of valor and did not protest when a couple of cops'arrested' the painting.

"Nelson later filed a Federal Civil Rights suit against the City. He won, and the City appealed to the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals. In a remarkable display of chutzpah, the Alderpeople argued that they were trying to protect the art work. They also argued that if they had not removed the painting, rioting, burning and looting would have occurred. Tongue in cheek, Chief Justice Posner rejected their arguments, writing in part, ‘Burn down Chicago over a painting? Paris maybe, but Americans have never taken culture that seriously.’" 

 

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Valentine's Day Massacre
Let us say that you are driving up North Clark Street, just west of Lincoln Park. Clark, an old Indian Trail, will angle away from Lincoln Park. As you pass Dickens. Keep your eye out for 2122 North Clark. When you spot it, ask your host to stop.
 

                            

"The old SMC Cartage Company. Moran is lucky he did not go in there that day," you observe.

"Jim Moran, the 'courtesy man?' Are you talking about the guy who used to sell cars on late-night television?"

"No, I am talking about George Moran, better known as 'Bugs,' one of Capone's competitors.

"Moran used to own a garage which was located where those small trees are now growing. One fine day, Capone decided to eliminate some of his competition and had some people from the Detroit mob inform Moran that they had a truck load of stolen whiskey. Moran agreed to meet them at the garage on February 14, 1929 and check out the stolen truck load.

"Lucky for Bugs that he was late getting to the meeting. When he got close to the garage, he spotted what looked like two Chicago police cars.

"A few minutes earlier, five men had gotten out of the police cars; three of the men were in police uniforms, two were dressed as civilians. Once inside, they lined up seven of Bugs' boys against a wall and shot them with machine guns. One of the guys made it to the hospital before dying. When asked who shot him, he said, 'I ain't talkin,' and died.

"The newspapers had a field day and Moran was quoted as saying, 'Only Capone kills like that.'
 

"Capone was in Florida, and his top gun, Jack McGurn, had an alibi. Although one of the machine guns was recovered the following year, the shooters were never identified.
 

 

 

"In 1967, the building was torn down, and the bricks from the bullet-scarred rear wall were purchased by a Canadian businessman. Each brick was numbered. In 1972, he opened a night club with a Roaring 20's theme and rebuilt the wall. The last I heard, he was trying to sell the bricks.
 

 
"Bugs may have escaped the slaughter, but his power was never the same afterwards: ‘Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.’ By the mid-thirties, he had left Chicago, moved to Wisconsin and then to Minnesota. By the late thirties, he was back in Illinois but was reduced to robbing small banks and gas stations down state.

"In 1956, he was eventually caught for some robberies he had committed in Ohio. He served ten years in Leavenworth Penitentiary, was released, but was immediately re-arrested for an earlier bank holdup in Ohio.

"Bugs died in prison of lung cancer on February 25, 1957, receiving the Full Last Rites of the Roman Catholic Church. Wrote the attending priest, Father O’Connor: ‘I am sure that God in His mercy was very kind to him in judgment.’"
 

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Haymarket Riot

Your host has decided to take you to Greek Town, just west of the Loop. As you drive west on Randolph Street, ask your host to turn left on Desplaines and then ask him/her to pull over and stop. Don’t worry about traffic; there is usually very little traffic there. You then point to the monument on the east side of Desplaines and begin your talk.
 

 
"Chicago has had a rough labor history, and one of its roughest moments occurred right here. In the last couple of decades of the 19th Century, German socialist immigrants brought to the city the radical labor ideas then common in Europe. In 1886, a number of unions went on strike for an eight-hour day. On May 3, the cops and the strikers battled at the McCormick Reaper plant leaving one dead and several wounded.
 

 
"On May 4, a protest meeting was scheduled at Haymarket Square, just around the corner from the monument, on Randolph Street near Halsted.

"The meeting soon shifted to a spot where a wagon was set up as a speaker’s platform. Toward the end of this meeting, while police were undertaking to disperse the crowd, a bomb was exploded. One cop died instantly, and seven more died later.
 

"The next day, radicals and labor leaders were arrested. Eight men were quickly brought to trial for ‘conspiracy.’ Although the bomb thrower was never identified and none of the eight could be connected with the crime, Judge Joseph E. Gary sentenced seven of them to hang. The eighth was given fifteen years in prison. The court held that the ‘inflammatory speeches and publications’ of these eight incited the actions of the mob.

"The Illinois and U.S. Supreme Courts upheld the sentences.

"On November 11, 1887 four men, Albert Parsons, August Spies, Adolph Fischer, and George Engel were hanged; Louis Lingg committed suicide in prison awaiting the death sentence. The sentences of two others were commuted from death to imprisonment for life.
 

 

 
"In 1893, German-born Governor John P. Altgeld pardoned the three who were in the penitentiary. Altgeld was savaged by the media and did not serve another term as governor. ‘What would one expect from a man like Altgeld,’ observed The Washington Post, ‘who is, of course, an alien himself?’

"The Chicago Tribune concluded that ‘the governor had not a drop of true American blood in his veins. He does not reason like an American, does not feel like one, and consequently does not behave like one.’
 

"A few years after the incident, the city put up a statue honoring the dead cops. It was moved to different locations until 1969 when hippies bombed it. It now resides inside of the Police Academy and can only be viewed by special appointment.

"Times have changed. Note that the current monument honors not the police but the speakers. This monument was erected in 2004 by Chicago artist Mary Brogger. Chicago had become a big union town.
 

 

"Altgeld did not get a monument; instead, he got a poem by Vachel Lindsay entitled The Eagle that is Forgotten." 

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Sam "Momo" Giancana

"Capone, Capone, that is all you Chicago people ever talk about. You know, the Mafia did not die with Capone. In point of fact, Sam ‘Momo’ Giancana was a much more interesting guy than that thug Capone. Here was a guy who was friends with Sinatra and shared a mistress with John Kennedy. Also, most historians believe the stories that the government approached him to put a hit out on Castro and that Joe Kennedy approached him to control the labor vote when John was running for president. As these things go, however, he got old.
 

 

"After relinquishing control of the mob in Chicago and after spending a number of years in Mexico, he was deported to the United States. In 1975, he was scheduled to appear before a Senate committee which was investigating possible mob ties to attempts to kill Castro.

"One June evening, while he was cooking sausages in his basement in the respectful suburb of Oak Park, someone shot him seven times in the head with a silenced .22 caliber handgun. In most cases, as in this one, seven head-shots with a .22 caliber handgun will kill a person.
 

 
"The day after Sam was murdered, a very young lawyer from Streator, Illinois was scheduled to appear before Judge Covelli in the Circuit Court of Cook County. His case was against a mob-related family, and he had discovered that the good judge was reputed to have mob connections. Today, cases in Cook County are assigned by computer. In those days, it was not quite clear how cases came before particular judges.

"When the young lawyer got off of the elevator in the Civic Center, he was stunned to see that there were hundreds of people outside of the courtroom, including Mike Royko, Len O’Connor, Walter Jacobson, and other representatives of Chicago’s media. He was able to get into the courtroom only after proving that he was scheduled to appear before the judge. He soon discovered why so many people were present.

"After Sam was murdered, the county sheriffs’ police had entered the house and seized hundreds of documents. The ‘family’ was appearing before Covelli on a Motion to Suppress any documents the county police had taken.

"’Gosh,’ the young lawyer thought, ‘what a coincidence: a mob case before a judge who is a reputed favorite of the mob. What a further coincidence that my case also involves the mob.’ What a further coincidence that my case also involves the mob.' For some reason, the young lawyer's case was not heard that day. Instead, he sat and watched the spectacle unfold.
 

 
"To this day, the once-young lawyer has an indelible memory of a guy standing at the front of the court room. Standing where the bailiff usually stands, a white-haired man, at least sixty years old, watched everyone in the court room. Nobody challenged his usurpation of the bailiff’s usual spot. His hair was clearly a custom-cut, and he wore a suit that looked as if it had been tailored that morning by some Seville Row tailor. Arms crossed, he surveyed the people in the courtroom with gimlet eyes. The once young lawyer recalls that he made every effort to avoid eye contact with this man.

"The arguments droned on for hours. Surprisingly, the 'family's' attorney, Dominic Gentile, was also a young lawyer, albeit one wearing a suit which had to have cost at least a thousand dollars. Equally surprising, the family prevailed. Young Dominic would eventually move to Las Vegas to represent the 'family's' interest there.

"The other young lawyer in the court room that day would eventually lose his case against the other mob-related family."



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Old Cap's Revenge

Let’s assume your host is rich and decides to take you to eat at the Signature Room on the 95th floor of the Hancock Building. The restaurant has great views of the City, especially if you have a job as a window washer.

During a break in the meal, say, "You know, the original contractor who was building this building went bankrupt. He kept digging and digging looking for bedrock to support the pylons, but he did not realize how sandy the soil is in this area. It was probably Old Cap's revenge--even though he spelled his name wrong, he was Streator-worthy." (Streator being the hometown of this author.)
 

 

 

 

"What are you talking about now?"

"Why, Cap Streeter, of course. This building sits on the very ground where his shack once stood. Cap was a real character. A Civil War vet, he worked various jobs after the war as a lumber jack, a circus impresario, and a steamboat operator. He and his wife finally came up with the idea of becoming gun-runners near Honduras. 
 

"In 1886, they bought a steamboat, named it The Reutan, and took it for a test cruise on Lake Michigan. Caught in a storm, their ship ran aground on a sandbar about a quarter of a mile out in the lake. Cap and his wife decided to live on the boat.

"Over a period of time, the prevailing winds blew even more sand against the boat. The massive cleanup from the Chicago Fire was still going on, and Cap encouraged builders to dump in the lake between his boat and shore.

"Within a couple of years, Cap and his wife had nearly 200 acres of newly reated land. The affluent people to his west called him a squatter and demanded that the City force him to relocate. Old Cap was no dummy. He researched the law and concluded that neither the City nor the state owned the land beyond the original shore line.

"He named his property the District of Lake Michigan and began to sell lots in it for a dollar a lot. Both police and private detectives attempted to evict him several times. On one occasion, his wife threw boiling water on his attackers.

"Cap was once arrested for shooting at a cop but was fund innocent because the law only forbade the wounding of cops. Another time he was arrested for resisting arrest because he 'failed to disperse' when so ordered. He defended himself by saying that a single person cannot disperse; only a group of people could disperse. The case was thrown out.

"Most of the people who settled in the District were considered undesirable by their affluent neighbors. Some were prostitutes, and some were bums (AKA: homeless). Cap further angered his neighbors by selling beer on Sundays in violation of the City's ordinance.

"Cap did not always ‘beat the rap.’ In fact, he was in and out of jail several times. He was once convicted of murder, but the Governor granted a pardon after recognizing that it was a frame-up.

"After a series of court cases, the courts concluded that he did not own the land in question. He finally vacated the District and lived the rest of his live selling hotdogs near present day Navy Pier.

"Some of the curious legal reasoning he employed to defend himself has continued in Chicago court rooms, however. In 1965, a circuit court judge acquitted a guy charged with the crime of assault with a deadly weapon. The guy had attacked a cop with a broken beer bottle. Judge Leighton looked at the statute in question and could not find a broken bottle on the list of deadly weapons. Accordingly, he applied the canon of statutory construction known as Expressio Unius Est Exclusio Alterius – ‘To express one is to exclude all others.’ Accordingly, he let the guy off.

"Cap would have been proud."  

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Cow Path Easement

Let us assume that your worldly friend has decided to take you to dinner at the Italian Village at 71 West Monroe. (This will also work if he/she is taking you to Nick’s Fish Market or if you are just hanging around in the Loop.)

However, let’s stick with the Italian Village, a unique place having three restaurants under one roof. Try to get your host to go to the Florentine Room, the restaurant on the third floor. If you go there right after work, you will find that they have free pizzas for "snacks." If you go there later in the evening, a violin player strolls around providing atmosphere.
 

.

Before you enter the restaurant, grab your friend by the arm and pull him/her down the street to 100 W. Monroe and point across the street to the site in the photo to the left.

You then say, "Wow; I have always wanted to see it, and now I have!"

Something like the following conversation will probably follow.

"What are you seeing that I am not seeing?" says your friend. "You have to get out of Roseland more often."

"Look closely at the address and the two doors. Doesn’t that look odd to you?"

"No, it doesn’t."
 

 
"There is a reason for the two doors. If we could open the door on the left, guess what we would find?"

"You got me; what would we find?"

"You would see an empty space about 150 feet long, twenty feet high, and ten feet wide."

"If I were a geometry teacher, I might find that interesting."

"What you would find behind the door on the left is one of the most famous easements in the United States. Old Willard Jones used to own most of the land on this block. In 1844, he sold the property we are now viewing but kept a farm to the north. He wanted to be able to cross this property so that his cows could get to water. Accordingly, when he sold the property across the street, he included in the deed an easement for cow access.

"The land went through a number of owners until finally someone attempted to get the easement eliminated. However in 1925, the Illinois Supreme Court upheld the easement. The two buildings which meet at this address were built in 1930, and the buildings were built both around and above the easement. There used to be a gate instead of a door, but people kept asking about the ‘short’ alley." 

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Alfred "Jake" Lingle

At some stage during your trip, your host will probably trot you past the Chicago Cultural Center and tell you that the building used to be the Chicago Public Library until the library was moved to the monstrosity on Roosevelt Road and renamed the Harold Washington Public Library. You point to the entrance to the Metra Station, which is behind the car in the picture below, and say, "Old Jake Lingle had no idea what was going to happen to him at the bottom of those stairs.
 

 
"Of course, you know Jake’s sad story. He was a reporter for the Chicago Tribune earning sixty–five dollars a week back in 1930. One fine June day, he decided to catch a train to Homewood to watch the races. As soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the train, someone put a gun against his head and shot him. Broad daylight and dozens of witnesses did not dissuade his killer.

"The public uproar was loud and immediate: ‘An attack upon the freedom of the press.’

"Rewards were offered to help find his killer, and he was given a huge funeral, complete with the Army band.
 

 
"Old Jake was friends with the Police Commissioner and knew when raids were planned. For a fee, he would tip off Capone and the other mobsters in town as to when the raids would take place.

"There were various theories as to why he was shot. Some said he kept demanding more money—not a smart move when dealing with Capone. Eventually, a scapegoat was brought to trial and convicted. When he was sentenced to seven years, the defendant said, ‘Seven years. I can do that standing on my head.’

"There was a movie made about Jake, and an episode of the Untouchables also told his story.

"His widow quickly sold his place in Indiana and faded from public view." 

 

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Tokyo Rose

At some point, your host may wish to impress you by taking you to the Belmont Yacht Club. If not the yacht club, he/she may take you to Ann Sather’s Café at Belmont and Sheffield.

If you are approaching Sather’s from the East, just after Clark Street, you point to your left at the building below and say, "Would you please stop? I have to see if she is still working there."

Unless your friend is one of the cognoscenti, he/she will probably say, "Who are you talking about?"

"Why Tokyo Rose, of course. That is the family business over there, and she is usually sitting in a big chair just inside the door." 
 

 
"Who is Tokyo Rose?"

"A good question: ‘Who is Tokyo Rose?

"There are two answers to your question: one is myth; the other one is accurate. To most Americans of the WW II generation, she was the sultry-voiced Japanese woman who broadcasted shortwave Japanese propaganda speeches to the American soldiers and sailors in the Pacific. The speeches were interspersed between popular American music of the day.
 

"You must have at least seen her depicted in one of the old WW II films. A typical speech went like this:
 

This is your favorite enemy. How are all you orphans of the Pacific?   Are you enjoying yourselves while your wives and sweethearts are running around with the 4F’s in the States?   How do you feel now when all your ships have been sunk by the Japanese Navy? How will you get home?   Here’s another record to remind you of home.

"Over the years, a different picture of Toguri as Tokyo Rose began to emerge. While visiting a friend in Japan when the war started, Toguri was stranded and jobless. She took a job for Radio Tokyo; and along with at least ten other women, was ordered to read scripted comments prepared by Japanese authorities. However, she was the only American born speaker.

"On President Ford’s last day in office, he signed a full and complete pardon. She has been working at the family business for years."
 

 
 

* Toyko Rose died on September 26, 2006  

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Graceland Cemetery

Chicagoans love to show Wrigley Field to out of town visitors. If your host takes you there, ask him/her to also drive north on Clark to its intersection with Irving Park Road. When you get to that intersection, point to your right and say, "The world famous Graceland Cemetery."

Your host will probably say, "World famous? I have never heard of it before."

Ask him/her to pull into the parking lot and begin your lecture. 
 

"Some of the biggest names in Chicago history are buried here. Most of the graves, date back to the 19th Century when rich people tried to outspend each other. The competition even lasted after their deaths.

"For example, look at the monument on the left built by Lorado Taft. How many people would have a world-famous sculptor design and build their tombstone? Ironically, the guy beneath that monument was named Graves.

"Here is another guy whose family hired Taft to build a monument. This one was Victor Lawson, the founder of one of Chicago's newspapers, Crusader. Get it?

"Pullman, the guy who invented Pullman cars, is over there. He had a large factory on the Southside and a town named after him. His employees hated him.

"He owned all of the houses in the town and rented them to his employees. One year, he cut their wages but not their rents. To his astonishment, a violent strike followed.

"Pullman was buried secretly in the middle of the night, and his casket was covered by a couple of tons of concrete to prevent people from mutilating his corpse. Some people said that the concrete was to ensure that he did not get out.

"Now here is a weird one. It is called Little Inez. Inez Clark died at the age of six in 1880. Her parents commissioned a life-sized statue and placed it over the grave. According to local legend, a night watchman, making his rounds during a storm, came across Inez’s grave and saw that the box was empty. The next morning, the statue of the little girl was back in its usual place.
 

 
"There is a name you probably know: Marshall Field.

 

"Another big name in the 19th Centujry was Henry Hamilton Honore. He made his bucks in real estate. On the left is Armour, the meat guy.
 

 "How about Pinkerton, the guy who was Lincoln's bodyguard and who founded the detective agency?
 

"The Kimball monument is the largest one here. He made his bucks in pianos. Look at the small monument to the left of it. We will get to it in a minute. It is Louis Sullivan's.
 

"That poor guy Hoyt, on the right, lost his wife and two kids in the Iroquois Theater Fire.

"If you ever ride the Metra south, at 18th Street look to your right. You will see faint writing on the wall of a building which used to be this next guy’s old brewery (Peter Schoenhofen). He must have thought he was a Pharaoh.

"And, here is Palmer of Palmer House fame.

 

 

"On the other hand, Louis Sullivan, the great architect did not feel the need for an ostentatious monument. His modest monument is just behind the Kimball one.
 

"There are a lot more famous people buried here, but you get the idea." 

 

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The Chicago Fire

While driving on North Michigan Avenue, your host points to the Chicago Water Tower and repeats what many Chicago people believe to be the truth: "The Chicago Fire started south of the Loop and stopped here. A cow kicked over a lantern in Mrs. O’Leary’s barn causing the fire. This old water tower is the only building that survived the fire."
 

"Hey, why don’t we drive over to 2121 North Hudson and check it out? Also, I read somewhere that most researchers do not believe the cow story."

 

 

Later in the day, perhaps after he/she has taken you to Greek Town, you manage to guide your host to Jefferson, on the western edge of the Loop, and ask him/her to drive down it a few blocks south of Van Buren. When you get to De Koven, you say, "Please stop here. I have always wanted to see exactly where the fire started.

"Isn’t it ironic that the Chicago Fire Firefighting Academy is located exactly where the fire started? Look, there is the famous Pillar of Fire monument in front of the Academy."
 

 

You then continue, "I have never understood how so many fires near Lake Michigan could have started on October 8, 1871 and October 9, 1871."

Your friend says, "Well, it was a very dry summer and fall; and most of the houses in Chicago were made of wood."

"I wasn’t referring to Chicago alone. There were four major fires near Lake Michigan which started within twelve hours of each other. On October 8, 1871, the same night the Chicago Fire started, the worst recorded forest fire in North American history began to rage through Northeastern Wisconsin and Upper Michigan, destroying millions of dollars worth of property and timberland. Historians refer to the Wisconsin fire as the ‘Peshtigo Fire,’ after the town where they think the fire started. While early reports of deaths from the Chicago Fire were exaggerated, the final death toll was less than 200. In contrast, over 1,200 died in the Peshtigo Fire.

"Across the lake, in Michigan, there were two fires which started within twelve hours of the start of the Chicago Fire. One fire at Manistee, caused millions of dollars in damages and left thousands homeless. A hundred miles south of Manistee, at Holland, the entire town burned.
 

"There is, of course the theory advanced by physicist Robert Wood who believes that the fires were caused by fragments from Biela’s Comet. Today, someone would probably write a book about a ‘mass conspiracy’.

"There is only one good thing I can think of which resulted from the fire: Grant Park. Before the fire, Lake Michigan lapped up against Michigan Avenue. After the fire, tens of thousands of tons of rubble from the 17,000 burned buildings were dumped into the lake to help form today’s Grant Park."
 

 

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Murders Off The Skyway

Today, your friend decides to take you to eat at Phil Schmidts, an old Chicago favorite located in Indiana off of the Skyway, a bridge connecting Indiana and Illinois. He/she tells you that they have great frog legs there. "They taste just like chicken."

You silently record yet another food that tastes just like chicken.

Your friend will probably tell you that you can get a great view of the Chicago skyline from the Skyway. He/she probably won’t tell you that the "great view" will last only a few seconds as you zip over the bridge.

On some days, when the pollution is bad, you will not have any view.

As you approach the Skyway, your friend will probably regale you with his/her knowledge of the Skyway: why it was built and why it was sold, etc.
 

Suddenly point to the right and say, "Chicago Vocational High School. They haven’t had a good team since Dick Butkus graduated."

After you pass through the toll gates, point to the ancient Commonwealth power plant on your left and say, "No wonder Chicago has had so many power outages."

 

Next, you point to both sides of the highway and say, "Wolf Lake. It looks exactly how it should look: gritty and industrial. No wonder the Mob has always liked this place."

"The Mob, why would they like this place? Good fishing or what?"

"No, good dumping. This lake, and the area around it, has long been a favorite dumping ground for corpses. You must have seen one of the Capone movies where he beats some guy to death with a ball bat at a swanky dinner party. That poor guy ended up here.

"The Mob was not the first to use this place to dispose of dead bodies, however. That distinction goes to a couple of brilliant teenagers named Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold.

"Loeb graduated from the University of Michigan at seventeen. Leopold graduated from the University of Chicago at eighteen. Leopold could speak ten languages, and he was a prominent ornithologist. They were both in graduate school at the University of Chicago in 1924. They came from wealthy families who lived in Kenwood, just north of Hyde Park. Both kids had annual allowances of $25,000 a year, a fair buck in 1924.
 

Leopold Home	Loeb Home

"They had studied Nietzsche and were enthralled with his writings about the Supermen, men who should not be governed by normal societal rules. They decided to commit the perfect crime and planned it for months.

 

 

Sights Near The University Of Chicago

Your host has decided that you should visit the Museum of Science and Industry. Even if you have been there before, do not protest. Instead, say, "Isn’t that in Jackson Park, one of the greatest birding spots in the Midwest? I have always wanted to see the Darrow Bridge.

"Most likely, he/she will not know what you are talking about. 

Continuing, you say, "Clarence Darrow, the most famous lawyer in the 20th century, lived in Hyde Park. He requested that he be cremated when he died and that his ashes be thrown in the lagoon at Jackson Park, just behind the museum. Years later, a bridge linking two different lagoons in the park was built in honor of Darrow. Every year on his birthday, a number of his fans gather at the bridge in his honor."
 

Suggest to your host after spending a couple of hours in the museum, you go to another museum only a few blocks away: The Oriental Institute at the University of Chicago. Many long-time residents of Chicago are totally unaware of its existence.

To get to the University of Chicago, simply go west from the museum a half a block until you reach Stony Island, then jog south until you reach 59th where you turn right or west. As you drive along 59th, point out some of the sites at the University of Chicago.
 

"I love this Gothic architecture. Check out Rockefeller Chapel. It is hard to believe that this university is only a little over a hundred years old. It looks medieval."
 

Guide your guest by Moore's monument to Enrico Fermi (Ellis between 56th and 57th) and exclaim, "Right there, where the old squash court used to be located, is the site of the first splitting of the atom.
 

 
"Look, there is the Midway and Taft’s famous statue ‘Fountain of Time.’ "
 

 

When you pass by the "entrance" to the university, say, "Isn’t this where Harry first met Sally in the movie?"
 

 

 
When you arrive at the Oriental Institute (58th Street), give your host a little background.

"This place was founded by the legendary James Breasted, a guy who many people believe was the prototype for Indiana Jones. He has written almost as many books as Louis L’Amour. In one book, he coined the now famous term 'fertile crescent.' As you will see, he brought tons of stuff here from Egypt, Mesopotamia (Iraq), and Persia (Iran).
 

There are some real scholars here. For example, since 1923 teams of scholars at the Institute have been working on a dictionary of ancient Assyrian. Apparently, they did not want to slap it together too quickly. When it is finished, they plan to print about 150 copies; not too many people are 'into' ancient Assyrian.
 

"There are dozens of rare artifacts inside. The big enchilada, of course, is the forty ton winged bull Breasted brought from Iraq. He brought back so many artifacts that some have not even been uncrated."

After wandering about the museum for a while, have your host drive a few blocks north to Jimmie’s at 55th and Woodland (AKA "The Woodlawn Tap"). Jimmie’s is probably one of the few bars in world with a set of the Encyclopedia Britannica behind the bar to settle arguments. It is not pure "egg-head", however. You will find people from all walks of life there; and except for the Encyclopedia, it looks like a number of old bars in Roseland.

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Pulaski vs Crawford

If you get out to 4000 West, point to the Pulaski street sign, and say, "What is the big deal with street names in this town? They make no sense at all.

"In the Loop, starting with Washington, the east-west streets follow a rough presidential order: Washington, Adams, Madison, Monroe, Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, etc. I can understand why they skipped the 'second' Adams; it would be confusing to have two streets named Adams. Why, however, did they stick poor Jefferson as a north-south street at the western edge of the loop?

"On the far southeast side, the City was so lazy that they simply named the streets A, B, C, etc.

"Pulaski takes the cake, however. For decades people squabbled with the city over the name of this street, taking the issue on two separate occasions to the state supreme court.  

"The street was originally named Crawford, for all of the forty-plus miles of its length. In 1933 Mayor Edward Kelly attempted to ‘suck up’ to the large Polish segment of the city and renamed Crawford Avenue to honor Count Casimir Pulaski, a Polish hero of the American Revolutionary War. Kelly was no dummy. At the time, there were more Poles in Chicago than in Warsaw. "

Business owners at the intersection of Crawford and Madison, one of the city’s major shopping districts, protested. Poles countered that such objections masked anti-Polish prejudice. Although the Crawford people got an injunction stopping the change, in 1935 the Illinois Supreme Court upheld the city council’s right to select street names.

"In Chicago, however, a mere court case does not always end a dispute. Angry residents  tore down Pulaski Road signs, and the issue reached the state legislature. In 1937 Illinois passed a law that the city council must change a street name at the request of owners of sixty percent of its frontage. Shortly thereafter, some property owners submitted petitions for the restoration of the name Crawford Avenue, but they did not get enough signatures.

"In 1949, owners of businesses along Pulaski Road filed a final round of petitions for Crawford. Although these signatures were valid, the city council refused to act. Property owners sued city officials for dereliction of duty. The issue was finally put to rest in 1952 when the Illinois Supreme Court upheld the Chicago’s right to name the street.

"In the suburbs, a informal compromise has apparently been reached; the street signs often say Crawford/Pulaski."
 

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Chicago Court House

At some point your host will probably take you to the River North area to eat at one of a couple of dozen good restaurants just north of the River. Let’s assume that he/she decides to take you to Brasserie Jo, a nice French restaurant located at 59 West Hubbard.

 

Before you enter the restaurant, point across the street at the building on the corner of Hubbard and Dearborn and say, "Wow, the Chicago court house. I have always wanted to see it."

Your friend will smile indulgingly at you and say, "That’s not the court house; it’s in the Loop."

You reply, "I’m talking about the old courthouse, the one where Clarence Darrow argued many of his most famous cases. Do you remember the old movie Front Page, or any of its remakes? That is the very court house which inspired Ben Hecht to write Front Page.

"Do you see that alley next to the building? The jail used to be located next to the court house, and hangings were held about where that alley is located. Several of defendants in the Haymarket Riots were hanged there.

"Ironically, the most famous guy sentenced to hang there, escaped and was never caught. Back in 1921, ‘Terrible Tommy’ O’Conner was sentenced to hang here for killing a cop. He grabbed a gun from a guard, climbed the jail wall and disappeared. Long after the state stopped hanging people, the scaffold built to hang Tommy was kept in storage in the hope that he might be captured someday. By the mid-1970s, they figured out that they were not going to catch old Tommy and dismantled the scaffold."

If you are in the area a lot, you might try this when you are at the intersection of Hubbard and State. Stare at the street sign and say, "I’ll bet that there is not another place in the country with intersecting streets that owe their names to one person. Hubbard Street is named in honor of Gurdon Hubbard, a founder of both Danville and Chicago. State Street is named after the old ‘State’ road which Hubbard laid out between Danville and Chicago."

Of course, there is always the danger that your friend will think you are crazy or drunk or both. 

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 Bug House Square

A few blocks south of Division, at Clark and Walton, stands the world famous Newberry Library. It should not be difficult to ask your host to swing by the library while you are on route to such predictable tourist destinations as Butch McGuires or The Lodge. Once you get to the library point excitedly to the small park just south of the building and say, "So this is the famous Bug House Square."
 

If your host looks confused, launch into the following soliloquy:

"In the early 1900s, an amalgam of communists, socialists, bohemian radicals, and union leaders began to congregate in the area in what is now called Washington Park. Like Orators’ Corner, in London’s Hyde Park, they began using the area for freewheeling speeches on every conceivable topic: birth control, capitalism, ‘free love,’ women’s rights, and capital punishment. Quickly dubbed ‘Bug House Square’ by the more main-stream northsiders, the park and the area around it began to attract hoboes from all across the country.

"Not be confused with today’s ‘homeless,’ the self-styled hoboes of the day often included artists, poets, and intellectuals. Precursors of the beatniks and hippies, the hoboes practiced free love and freely accepted homosexuals. Hallelujah, I’m a Bum became their anthem:
 

Whenever I get all the money I earn, The boss will go broke and to work he must turn.  Chorus: Hallelujah, I’m a bum. Hallelujah, bum again. Hallelujah, give us a handout—to revive us again.

"Many of the leaders of the hobos were members of the radical union, the International Workers of the World.(IWW). The IWW, or wobblies as they were often called, preached an all-encompassing one big union, advocated violent strikes, and called for the abolition of capitalism. Its detractors said that IWW stood for ‘I won’t work.’

"Hanging out at the Radical Bookstore, the audiences were often hostile, peppering the speakers with cat-calls and verbal barbs. Some of the speakers were simply crazy, but others were far from crazy. At one time or another, Carl Sandburg, Edgar Lee Masters, Sherwood Anderson, Vachel Lindsay, Clarence Darrow, Ring Lardner, Emma Goldman, Eugene Debs, Theodore Dreiser, and Big Bill Haywood were among the speakers. a forum for free-wheeling debates.
 

"Many speakers became legendary, including anarchist Lucy Parsons, ‘clap doctor’ Ben Reitman, labor-wars veteran John Loughman, socialist Frank Midney, feminist-Marxist Martha Biegler, Frederick Wilkesbarr (The Sirfessor), Herbert Shaw (the Cosmic Kid), the Sheridan twins Jack and Jimmy, and one-armed ‘Cholly’ Wendorf.

"One year, a group of intellectuals from the area challenged the University of Chicago debate team to a couple of debates. The college debaters accepted the challenge and soon discovered the difference between the controlled, polite debates of the ‘campus’ to the ‘down and dirty’ debating styles of street debaters.

"During the First World War and during the Big Red Scare which followed it, many of the speakers were beaten and arrested; Bug House Square declined in popularity. However, during the 1930s, Bug House Square was again full of speakers offering up their views on the issues of the world. Even as late as the 1960s, one could still hear speakers shouting out their views on a myriad of subjects in the park.

"The Newberry Library, across the street from the park, honors the tradition of the Bug House Square each year by holding a ‘Bug House’ day where awards are given for the best speeches. 
 

"The speeches today, however, are mere pallid copies of the ones given in the early 1900s. Too often the speeches are given by ‘white-bread’ kids from the suburbs. The idea of awarding prizes would have been anathema to the original Bug House Square speakers.

"Chicago icon Studs Terkel has requested that when he dies, his ashes be intermingled with those of his wife and scattered on the square. 

"When Terkel’s lawyer told him that his request would be illegal, Terkel replied in a tone similar to the irreverence of the original speakers at Bug House Square, ‘Well, let them sue the ground.’"

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Uptown

Your host has decided that you need to hear some real jazz, and tells you that he/she is going to take you to the Green Mill at 4802 N. Broadway Ave in Chicago’s Uptown area.

Don’t be thrown by the term "Uptown." In Roseland, "uptown" would mean Michigan Avenue; in Chicago it refers to an area on the far northeastern part of the City.
 

 
You reply to your host, "So they are playing jazz there now. Over the years, they have had a variety of entertainers: Al Jolson, Eddie Cantor, Sophie Tucker. I’ll bet that there is one guy who wished that he had never played there: Joe E. Lewis." 

Most likely, your host will say, "Joe Lewis the boxer? What did he do there?"

"Not Joe Lewis, but Joe E. Lewis, a different guy. You might remember him from some old thirties and forties movies. He was supposed to be funny. At one time, he was a popular singer and worked at the Green Mill.

"In 1927, when he got an offer for more money at a place closer to the Loop, he decided to take it. A part-owner, Machine-Gun Jack McGurn attempted to convince Joe to stay, but Joe left anyway. 

"A few days later, several of Jack’s henchmen slit Joe’s throat and cut off part of his tongue. Understandably, his singing was never quite the same afterward. Maybe, that is why he turned to comedy. Maybe you remember the movie The Joker is Wild, starring Frank Sinatra. That was Joe’s story."

 

As you near the club, you say, "Wait, we are close to the old Essanay Studio. Can we drive by its old site?

"Look, there is Argyle Street; please turn here. Yes, this is the place; they even have a plaque at 1333-45 Argyle."

Your frustrated host will probably think that you are out of your mind; but you continue.

"This is where motion pictures started. Charlie Chaplin, ‘Bronco’ Billy Anderson, Tom Mix, and other silent film stars made their early movies here. Chaplin, however, did not like the cold winters; and the movie industry moved to California."
 

 

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Iroquois Theater

Your host has decided to take you to the Ford Center for the Performing Arts, called locally the Oriental Theater. He/she tells you that the theater on Randolph Street was a beautiful old movie theater, back when "movie theaters were really theaters." After he/she finishes talking about the Oriental, you tell him the following story.
 

"It is amazing that a theater has been located on this site for over a hundred years. The most famous one, of course, was the Iroquois Theater. It was a state-of-the-art theater when it was built, fireproof, etc. In December of 1903, almost 1,900 people were crowded into the theater one afternoon to see Eddie Foy in the musical comedy Mr. Bluebeard.

"Shortly after the intermission, a fire started in the sets above the stage. It soon spread to the curtains. Burning scenery dropped onto the stage, and the gutless actors ran out of the stage door to the street. A cold blast came through the door and accelerated the fire.

"The audience wildly sought an exit and created a pile of bodies nearly ten feet high at the bottom of the stairwell leading to the balcony. Some of the exits were bolted, and others had complicated opening mechanisms. As a result, many people were crushed against the exit doors.
 

"Although the fire was put out within an hour, 602 people died because of the fire, far more people than those who perished during the great Chicago Fire. Although there were numerous hearings and law suits which followed and produced evidence of numerous violations of the fire code, the theater owners did not pay out a single cent in damages."

 

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Balbo

Today, your host points out the Conrad Hilton at Michigan and Balbo and comments, "Here is something you might find interesting, the flagship Conrad Hilton Hotel. You could sleep over half of the people in Roseland in there. During the hippy riots in ‘68, the rioters slept outside, across the street in Grant Park."
 

You point to the Balbo street sign and say, "I wonder why the hippies did not tear down that street sign; it’s named after a Fascist. It is almost as bad as having a street named Hitler."

Your friend replies, "Fascist? I thought Balbo was an explorer."

"You are thinking of Balboa. Balbo was a leading Italian Fascist, second in power to Mussolini in the thirties. 

"In 1933, only six years after Lindbergh made his famous cross-Atlantic flight, Balbo led a squadron of twenty-four seaplanes in a flight to Chicago during the World’s Fair (Century of Progress). They landed on Lake Michigan to cheers from nearly a hundred thousand people. Both Chicago and New York named streets after him, and Roosevelt invited him to lunch.
 

 
"In honor of the flight, Mussolini donated a column from Ostia to the city of Chicago; it can still be seen just south of Soldier Field.

"Unlike Hitler and Mussolini, Balbo died in combat."

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The Cemetery at the Zoo

Today, your friend decides to take you to the Lincoln Park Zoo, a Chicago landmark. You probably were there when you were a kid, but you do not tell your host that you have been there before. Instead, as he/she prattles on about the zoo, you simply say, "Oh, how interesting."

As you stroll through the zoo, make sure that you manage to wander over to the Children’s Zoo, a sort of zoo within the zoo. Lead your friend out of the Children’s Zoo about fifty yards to the southwest. At this point, you utter the following cryptic comment, "Only two left."

When your friend asks you what you are talking about, you launch into your spiel.

"As you probably know, in the 19th Century this area was a large cemetery holding over twelve thousand graves. Several thousand of the graves were of Confederate soldiers; the rest were locals. Bodies from the graves, however, kept popping up in the Chicago River causing frequent Cholera outbreaks. In the fullness of time, the City decided to move all of the bodies. Only two are left. One grave is behind the Chicago Historical Society; the other grave is over there."

Point to the monument in the photo below and say, "This monument honors David Kennison who died in 1852 and was buried here.
 

 
"Most historians believe Dave’s claim of being the last survivor of the Boston Tea Party. He might have lived longer than his 115 years, but he was run over by a runaway team of horses.

"We are probably walking over graves of other people too. In 1986, for example, construction workers in the park uncovered a number of old graves."

 

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The Biograph Theater

At some point, any in-the-know Chicagoite, intent on impressing outsiders, will end up taking people on North Lincoln Avenue to any of a number of interesting hot spots. If this happens to you, there are a number of comments that you can drop into the conversation. For example, you might note that you have always found the handful of diagonal streets north of the Chicago River to be a refreshing change from the normal grid-like layout of the City’s streets.

You can then note that most of the diagonal streets, such as Clark and Lincoln, started out as old Indian trails. Milwaukee Avenue, originally West Plank Road, was once a buffalo route that led to the Chicago River. Lincoln Avenue used to be called Little Fort Road; Elston was Lower Road; and Ogden was Southwestern Plank Road.

If you are near 2433 North Lincoln, demand that the car be stopped so that you can give your next little lecture.

"Wow, the Biograph Theater! In 1934, the famous bank robber John Dillinger, with two women in hand, walked into that theater to see the old classic Manhattan Melodrama. Of course, it was not then an old classic; it was a new movie.
 

John did not know that one of the women with him, the ‘Lady in Red,’ had ratted him out to the FBI. When the movie was over, they walked out of the theater and turned to the left. Dillinger sensed that something was wrong. He pulled his gun and ran into the alley by the theater. Melvin Purvis and a number of other FBI agents were ready, however. They gunned him down like a mad dog.

"Over the years, the City has had to replace the telephone pole in the alley several times because thousands of visitors have persisted in cutting off pieces of the pole for souvenirs."

 

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The Eastland

Today, your friend is showing you sites along the Chicago River. Standing on the South side of the river, he/she points out the Merchandise Mart looming over the north side of the river and gleefully tells you the usual tourist stuff.

"Until the Pentagon was built, it was the largest building in the world. It has its own zip code, and the building is owned by Kennedy money."
 

You counter by walking a few hundred yards east to Clark Street, point toward the river, and say, "This is a famous site too, but one usually forgotten today.

"In 1915 Western Electric commissioned a number of boats to take its employees and their families across the lake to Michigan City, Indiana for the company’s annual picnic. One of the boats, The Eastland, was anchored along the south side of the river between Clark and La Salle Streets and had loaded up over 2,500 hundred people. For some reason, which was never made clear, the boat slowly turned over trapping near half of its passengers; 844 people died."

 

 
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IF YOU STAY A FEW MORE DAYS,  with your Chicago friend, he/she will probably tire of your constant oneupmanship. When you sense that you have worn out your welcome, cheerfully suggest that it is time for you to go back home. Make sure, however, that you praise your host effusively about his/her knowledge of Chicago and promise that you will come back as soon as possible.

 

 

My sincere thanks to my husband, Bruce Mackey, for sharing his wonderful and unique guide to Chicago.
-Carole 

 

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